i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
