put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
