drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
