you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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