My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
