Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
