is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
