she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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