why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
