I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
