you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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