speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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