I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
