accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
