I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I pour the whiskey from now on
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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