remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize