Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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