Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
