so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
