I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize