go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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