I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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