I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
