She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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