As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize