it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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