She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize