I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
