They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
