i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
