I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
