we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize