I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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