There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
