Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
