i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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