Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We are all done wearing pants today
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
