Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
