dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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