i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Boobs speak an international language.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
