please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You've changed since you got that strap on
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
