I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
