Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
birth control should be required to get into college
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize