That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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