so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
