I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
