I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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