did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
