Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
