Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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