Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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