Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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