Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Randomize
