woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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