This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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