I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
