Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
